friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
