I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
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