Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
