is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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