i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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