"it" just moved
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
