We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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