so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
