It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
