Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize