But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
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Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
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I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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