I don't think brook has ever known best
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
