Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Randomize
