That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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