so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
