who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
