So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Welp...herpes.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
