with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
