I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
