Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Randomize
