So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Randomize
