You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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