imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
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You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
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He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize