i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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