Sponge bath it is.
I just found puke in my bra..
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
