I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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