wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
people are starting to question the shark bite story
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
