He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
She's not a foreskin expert like you
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I think weed is turning my hair brown
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize
