the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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