Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize