Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
