Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
thus making me awesome and them whores
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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