I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
