So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
