Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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