Tell her she can't have a vagina
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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