between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
