jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
