he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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