Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
