i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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