i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i came on her dog
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
