operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
