U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
