I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
