is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i will never coherently bang her
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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