Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Randomize
