I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
