but the lizard people decide everything anyway
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
