I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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