Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
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