Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
