Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
