cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Randomize
