Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Randomize
