Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
