video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
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Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
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I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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