I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i think my tv is drunk
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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