Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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