I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
