I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
