bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
You're like the curious george of whores
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize