True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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